YEMEN WEBDATE
 YEMENHUMOR

[Editor's Note: If you know of any Yemeni jokes or humor about Yemen, please send your items to the webshaykh.
Please note that some of the jokes below may not be appropriate for children.]

 Satire
 
Crutch, Phinneas A.
The Queen of Sheba: Her Life and Times. New York, G. P. Putnam's Sons, 1922. [YU 36 (1995): 16-19, 37 (1995): 10-20]

 


Yemeni Jokes
 
POLITICAL

There was a joke round in those days,although you had to be careful who you told it to, concerning anAmerican, a Russian and an Adeni on the beach at Crater. The Americantook off his jeans and threw them into the sea. 'In the States,' heboasted, 'we have plenty of jeans.' The Russian swaggered forwardand, taking out a full bottle of vodka, lobbed it as far as hecould.' 'In Russia we have plenty of vodka.' The Adeni thought for awhile, then stepping forward, he picked up the Russian and threw himin the sea. [Kevin Rushby, Eating the Flower of Paradise,N.Y.: St. Martin's Press, 1999, p. 189]

SCATOLOGICAL

A hollow-cheeked old man with mournful eyesrolled up. 'Tell me, you speak English and you speak Arabic. So, whatis the difference between a fart in English and a fart in Arabic?' Webegan to laugh but he kept a straight face. 'I'll tell you. InEnglish you say --' he pursed his lips and emitted a thin, littlesqueak. 'But in Arabic, ha!' He pouted up and blew a tremendousraspberry. 'There! When the Yemeni went to London with his wife andthey were walking in Ox-ford Street, she let out a violent fart thatknocked her poor husband off his feet. 'What are you doing?' heshouted. He was very angry. 'It's all right, my darling," said thewife, 'they don't understand Arabic.'' Ali almost choked on his qatbut recovered to tell the Story of the Historic Fart, a much-repeatedtale of the man, Abdul Aziz, who let rip in a qat chew and, coveredin shame, went to India for ten years. After such a long period,hoping to be forgotten, he returned and crept back to his village. Inthe street he spied an old woman talking to a young boy. 'When was Iborn, Grandmother?' asked the lad. 'I don't know exactly,' repliedthe old woman, 'but it was in the year that Abdul Aziz farted'[Kevin Rushby, Eating the Flower of Paradise, N.Y.: St.Martin's Press, 1999, p. 278].

SEX

'Once', someone said, 'there was a blindgirl. She was twenty-five years old and longing for a husband; butwhenever she brought the subject up with her father he's day, "Mydaughter, you are blind. No one wants you. But don't worry -- you'llfind a husband in Paradise." Well, one day she was up on the roofhanging out the washing when she tripped and fell, down and down, sixstories. By chance she fell into a lorry carrying bananas and wasknocked unconscious. The lorry drove on. Ten minutes later she cameto. Ah, she thought, I am dead. Then, as she felt the bananas, sheremembered what her father had told her and gave a little shriek:"Slowly, slowly, men of Paradise! Please, take your turn!" [TimMackintosh-Smith, Yemen: Travels in Dictionary Land. London:John Murray, 1997, p. 19]

 
WEATHER
 
An old joke illustrates this obsession with heat. The angels, it is said, periodically visit Hell to make sure the fires are turned up. One day a group of them are detailed to check on the really wicked sinners, who spend eternity in individual ovens. Inside the first oven is a Saudi. He screams to be let out. Roasting nicely, they think, and slam the door on him. In the next oven is an Englishman; then comes an American, an Egyptian and so on. All beg to be let out, but the angels show them no mercy. Eventually they open the last door. Inside sits a Yemeni, chewing qat and apparently oblivious of the flames around him. He draws languidly on his water-pipe, turns to the angels, and says: 'Hey, could you shut that door? I'll catch my death of cold.' [Tim Mackintosh-Smith, Yemen: Travels in Dictionary Land. London: John Murray, 1997, p. 17]